It is clear that I have not done very well on my December goals. My inner fat kid has come back out to play. While I am not in the business of making excuses for myself, here is what has been happening lately. I was doing so well with working out and maintaining my calories until the middle of the month when my better half ended up in the hospital. I don’t know if I have blogged about it or not, but my better half had foot surgery in July. There have been several complications, which resulted in a second surgery and bone infection. Because of the bone infection, we had to put in a pic line in order to receive IV antibiotics. The IV antibiotics completely wiped out all of the white blood cells and put my better half in the hospital about an hour away.
Ever since, I have been very lax on my diet and exercise. I have been reflective on why I tend to run back to old habits during hard times. I think it is just the stress and the “comfort” from eating food. I need to figure out ways to keep my inner fat kid suppressed when times get tough. I have to say, that from eating all of this “junk” food, my body feels sluggish and I am tired all of the time. I have not even looked at the scale to see how much weight I have gained. I can tell my body hates when I listen to my fat kid; however, I feel so out of control and believe I cannot stop myself. I know this is a bunch of malarky, but this is how I am feeling. I just need to find ways to combat it.
I know blogging helps. It helps just to get out my feelings. Maybe whenever I want to eat something I shouldn’t or start to sabotage myself I will post instead. I have several things I started in order to keep me motivated. I have a weight loss board and a calendar where I write all of my workouts. I also want to have a piece of cork board where I put all of the motivational quotes and things I find I want when I am skinny. I thought that would be a good way to keep myself motivated, and it worked for a while.
I asked for a bunch of fitness related items for Christmas, so we will see what I get. My mom is coming up from Texas for the holiday (and I am off of work!!). I don’t know how much actual exercising I will get; however, I plan on being pretty active. I know we are going to paint my office at the agency, which I am super excited about. I want to post more pictures on my blog just to keep myself motivated.
That’s what is going to keep my inner fat kid away…motivation to be the person I want to be. As Jillian Michaels says, “If you have a why, you can tolerate any how.”