I spent my day reviewing my entire blog. I started with my first entry and redid all of my categories and tags so it makes more sense. Looking through, I notice that I have a lot of “tough time” posts. I tend to blog when I am having an issue or have not been doing well for a while. In the future, I hope to minimize those posts. Although, I think it brings it back to losing weight is a struggle and it is a side effect of something else that is going on.
Somewhere throughout all of this, I lost sight of me. I don’t get “all dolled up” like I used to, and I don’t laugh like I used to, and I take things really personally and bust my ass for other people with the foolish notion that they will like me better or things will be different. And, I kind of hate myself for that.
Just like this week. While I stayed (mostly) on point with my diet, I had a REALLY HARD time exercising. I just could not get my ass out of bed. I’m just so tired lately and feel like I am losing my drive and ambition. I have a hard time explaining what happened and how I got here. But I have, and I have to deal with it.
In addition to all of the things you are “supposed” to do when you are trying to lose weight (exercise, eat right, blah, blah, blah), I’m going to do the little things for myself. Like, put eyeshadow on when I wear makeup, wear jewelry, read, do my daily mask, take a bubble bath…just those little things to make me feel good about me.
After all, all I have is me.