After my confession yesterday that I have lacked motivation but believe to have turned around, I thought I had turned a corner. I went to bed, set my alarm to wake up and work out, and drifted off into peaceful sleep earlier than usual, proud that I had gone to bed early to get enough sleep to work out in the morning.
Morning comes, my alarm goes off… and I hit the snooze button. I know in my head that I need to get out of bed and workout, I’m going to regret it, yet here I am. I’m not sure what is going on with me. I don’t know what prevents me from getting out of bed than my sheer laziness and indulgence to sleep in a few more minutes. Now that I am home, work is pounding in my head, the rush of getting dinner on the table, and now the exhaustion of the day and thinking about tomorrow sets in, and all I want to do is sleep.
What I am not going to do is let this define a failure for the week. Tonight, I will set my alarm for 5am and have every intention of working out in the morning. There will not be any time tomorrow night as I have to go to work, stay late for a Heroin presentation, run my first group for “girls who like girls,” then eat. So, I have to get up and work out or I’m going to continue to be fat and miserable and hate myself when I look in the mirror.
Something has to change, and it has to be me.