Personal

See, I Told You

After my confession yesterday that I have lacked motivation but believe to have turned around, I thought I had turned a corner.  I went to bed, set my alarm to wake up and work out, and drifted off into peaceful sleep earlier than usual, proud that I had gone to bed early to get enough sleep to work out in the morning.

Morning comes, my alarm goes off… and I hit the snooze button.  I know in my head that I need to get out of bed and workout, I’m going to regret it, yet here I am.  I’m not sure what is going on with me.  I don’t know what prevents me from getting out of bed than my sheer laziness and indulgence to sleep in a few more minutes.  Now that I am home, work is pounding in my head, the rush of getting dinner on the table, and now the exhaustion of the day and thinking about tomorrow sets in, and all I want to do is sleep.

What I am not going to do is let this define a failure for the week.  Tonight, I will set my alarm for 5am and have every intention of working out in the morning.  There will not be any time tomorrow night as I have to go to work, stay late for a Heroin presentation, run my first group for “girls who like girls,” then eat.  So, I have to get up and work out or I’m going to continue to be fat and miserable and hate myself when I look in the mirror.

Something has to change, and it has to be me.

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